Well, here I am again with my late night thoughts of you. I tried to forget about you, I really did. I tried to be happy and imagine you somewhere better but the more I think of it the more I wanna be with you, touch you, laugh with you. I miss you so much it’s unbearable. I always believed if I prayed everyday somehow god would hear my prayers and not take you away from me but he did anyway. There’s this song that I keep playing over and over again. The lyrics really stand out to me. It’s called Who Knew by Pink. There’s a couple parts where she says “If someone said three years from now you’d be long gone. I’d stand up and punch them out cause they’re all wrong. That last kiss, I’ll cherish until we meet again and time makes It harder. I wish I could remember but I keep your memory. You visit me in my sleep” and it’s true if someone said you would no longer be here I’d punch em because you did promise me you’ll be here forever but you lied to me. You visit me in my sleep everyday. You’re not here and I need you by my side. I can’t face everything alone. I’m sorry that I let you down or if I even did I just wasn’t as strong as you said I was. I don’t see the person inside myself that you saw. I’ve lost the person I use to be. I’m just an empty black hole now. Who knew, I’d end up like this. Who knew, you’d be gone so soon without even a warning, without a sign… Without me. Who knew.
We’d always say I love you to each other even act out our future weddings but it’s because of you I know what it truly means to love someone and you left quite a mark on me so it’s going to be hard for someone to fill in that spot. No one will ever compare to you. Nobody knows about the times we spent together or any of our memories. You didn’t like to take many pictures because of your sickness but I saw beauty in you like no other. You were the most handsome man I had ever seen also the most strongest person I know. Battling leukemia at age 11 and fighting it off til your untimely death at 22 😔 I love you soooo much it’s unexplainable. Nobody will ever know or have the bond we did. I’m so sorry for ever being mad at you. It was so stupid I don’t remember what it was for but I do know I let my anger get the best of me and wasn’t there for you the day you passed. I hope you forgive me Kev. 💙
I remember the day you said “you’d always protecting me no matter what and that you’ll always be there for me then gave me a kiss on the cheek, we were ten. I can still feel your kiss lingering on my cheek and wherever I go I can feel you right by my side protecting me from everything I face.